Vault Master Rants: Horror Feminists

TRUTH.

To preface this post, I just want to state that I love women. I have ever since I was a little kid; I never went through that "ewww, girls are icky stage." They fascinate me to this day because even when I think I've got them figured out... I realize that I am totally wrong. (The man who finally DOES figure out the opposite sex will rule the world!) I love my mother, and grandmother, my sisters, my fiancee, and all of those in between. They have a different view of the world than I do, and have provided me with an emotional blueprint that I may otherwise be lacking. (To the dudes: They are the Subotai to my Conan. When I don't cry; they cry for me.) They are pillars of strength in my life and helped forge me into the person I am today. For that I am quite thankful.

The question you may pose to me now is do I see them as my equals? In many cases, yes I do. Sometimes I consider them my superiors. But there are things that I can do better than them. That's not being sexist, that's just the truth. Everyone is good at something, but not always at the same thing. I can cook basic stuff (I'm a master at grilled cheese sandwiches and pancakes), but my fiancee can put on a feast! She can top off the fluids in her car and change a flat tire, but I'm the one who changes the oil and takes it into the shop when it needs something major fixed. We're a team! The same applies to every other female in my life; we all learn from each other and grow as people.

And don't think that I'm making myself out to be a saint, because I most definitely am not. Do I occasionally objectify women? Yeah I do at times... but those cosplay chicks are totally asking for it! (Calm down! I'm kidding!) Do I make sexist remarks and jokes? Absolutely, but it's not limited to women. I tend to make fun of everybody, for everything and anything, and that includes myself. I like to poke fun at others, and I can take what I can dish out. But I also know when to cool it; I know when to shut my yap and respect others.

Which brings me to feminism. I understand it, and support it to an extent, but in my belief people are just people. We  label everyone in our society so it's difficult to see a person as just a person. Race, creed, gender... it all actually doesn't matter, but we're taught growing up that it does. Women who are feminists are striving for equality with men, which I think is more than fair. If a women can do the same work as I can (or do an even better job) then she most definitely deserves equal pay. If a woman wants to partake in a sport despite the risks, then let her give it a shot. Life is about pursuing our dreams and finding our limits. Those rights belong to everyone.

Enjoy some nightmare fuel!

And then there are the extremists; the ones that use feminism as a cover. While it may be a "man's world," women have certainly carved out a place amongst us. But some aren't content and lash out at us "cruel oppressing males" under the guise of promoting female equality. And some of them happen to be hiding out in the horror community, right under our very noses. :: cue shocked gasps and ominous music ::

Ok, I'm being melodramatic, but an incident occurred in a little corner of the web the other night that  raised my hackles and got me involved in an argument that I probably normally would have avoided. A gentleman by the name of Herner Klenthur posted a Top Ten List of NEW Masters of Horror. It's just  a quick opinion piece featuring ten directors that Herner believed were Masters of Horror material. While not everyone will agree with his choices, it's a solid list and not incendiary in the least.

And then it happened. Someone calling herself Hannah Neurotica posted a comment saying "Really?! Not one woman on that list...."

Now, it's my belief that this top ten list was partially user generated as Herner asked Horror-Movies.ca fans on Facebook who they considered to be a new Master of Horror. And before the can of worms was flung open, I sat and thought to myself... there really aren't any women working in the genre as directors that would be fitting of the Master of Horror moniker. Most of the mainstream female directors who started off in the horror genre (e.g. Kathryn Bigelow and Mary Lambert) moved on to bigger things, or just steady work in other genres. They earned their ability to pick and choose their projects.

To be sure, there are dozens of other female horror directors, but most of them work in the indie/micro-cinema world, and have yet to break out into something bigger. In an age where anyone can be a filmmaker thanks to digital film and editing, there's so many voices shouting "watch my movie!" that a lot of them get lost in the crowd. It's a grueling business whether you're a man or woman, and more often than not, a lot of films and their creators just fade into obscurity.

And then the flame-war began. While one commenter made some suggestions for Herner to look into, Ms. Hannah Neurotica went on the attack and called him a lazy journalist who needed to expand his horizons. A few people jumped in on Herner's side and Ms. Neurotica seemed to back down and all was well.... and then this blog post appeared: The New (ALL MALE) Masters of Horror.

This post really set me off. I usually don't go out of my way to defend someone, but this was what us guys call, a "dick move." This post was meant to, as I said in one of my many comments, "rattle some sabers." It's essentially an attempt at a smearing campaign to vilify a harmless Top Ten List written by a more than amiable writer. This wasn't about feminism now; this was simply about being a bully and using overly feminist rhetoric to try and make some waves and engage in some self-promotion.

What resulted was a verbal smackdown from myself and several other writers, with (in my opinion) the heaviest blow coming from a FEMINIST HORROR BLOGGER. Check out what she had to say here: DAY OF THE WOMAN - HORROR-MOVIES.CA DOESN'T LIST ANY WOMEN AS "10 NEW MASTERS OF HORROR," AND WHY YOU SHOULDN'T BITCH ABOUT IT.

The situation has since been defused (as far as I can tell) but I won't be surprised if Ms. Neurotica and her cronies rise up to create more drama again in the near future. And just who exactly is Hannah Neurotica? Well she is one of the masterminds behind WOMEN IN HORROR MONTH (something I didn't promote in the past and now refuse to promote in the future). Their quest is to promote women in the horror biz (particularly in the low-to-no budget film arena) one month a year.... in a month that boasts Groundhog Day, Valentine's Day, and is already taken for "Black History Month." While I'm sure they mean well, creating drama and utilizing bully tactics on the web will not further their cause in my eyes.

Speaking of their cause: Back in January 2012, the editor of Fangoria magazine posted a letter basically saying "Women in Horror Month? Really?! This needs to be a thing? Don't we celebrate women in the genre all the time?!" While maybe not entirely PC, he clearly made the point that his publication covered women in horror on a very frequent basis, and he didn't see the need for Women in Horror Month to exist. (Check out Chris Alexander's letter HERE.) Skip ahead a year and interestingly enough.... Women In Horror Month is now officially recognized by Fangoria Magazine. Way to stick to your guns guys.

So to close this all out, to Hannah and the rest of her WOMEN IN HORROR MONTH friends: Play nice with others and don't resort to bully tactics to promote your cause. Fight the good fight against someone that is being overly chauvinistic and making things difficult for women that are trying to persevere in the horror business. Starting up a flame-war and creating drama like you gals did should be beneath you. And perhaps you should just scrap the whole WOMEN IN HORROR MONTH thing and create a "Women in Horror League?" Why not focus on the hard-working women in the horror genre all year long?!

To any women reading this: Thank you. Thanks for putting up with all our stupid macho bullsh*t on a daily basis; most of us guys are basically just giant kids. Thanks for helping many of us guys raise our kids (not speaking from personal experience.... yet). Thanks to all our mothers who put the fear of God in us (literally and figuratively) and loved us all unconditionally. And thank you to all the actresses, producers, directors, editors, and other filmmaking ladies who have contributed to the art of cinema over the years. You are all heroes in my eyes.

With that all said, get in that kitchen and make me a sammich!

WAIT! STOP! I WAS KIDDING! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Introducing THE DEAD DUCK'S DUCK HUNT!

The internet is a huge and nearly infinite place, filled with the bulk of humanity's knowledge... and cat photos.... and lots and lots of porn... and viral videos... and memes... and, well, you get the idea. Because of all the info floating around out there, a lot of stuff gets overlooked, especially on Youtube (trust me on that, I know from experience).

Case in point, tonight I was introduced to a newly started web-series called THE DEAD DUCK'S DUCK HUNT, an odd little show that focuses on cult, horror, and exploitation films. It's weird, but I definitely dug it, and think some of you frequent readers and cult film fanatics will dig it too. Thus far "The Dead Duck" has two videos out there on the Youtube. The first covers numerous Shout! Factory DVD releases (mainly their awesome selection of Roger Corman Cult Classics), and the second gives a brief overview of the films of Lucio Fulci!

Give the Dead Duck's Duck Hunt a little love by watching the videos below. If you like what you see, be sure to give them a thumbs up, subscribe and/or comment on the videos, and share them too! I know these guys would love to hear what you have to say, plus they could use the extra traffic!

HATE CRIME synopsis, trailer, and posters.

HATE CRIME is a film that's flown under my radar up until I received a press release from its director, James Cullen Bressack. This home invasion/found footage flick has been making its rounds at festivals, and creating some waves. Apparently, it is so controversial that the film was nearly banned in the UK, and is currently having trouble finding distribution, so don't plan on seeing it just yet, unless it is scheduled at a film fest.

The Synopsis:
"A Jewish family, just arrived in a new neighborhood, are recording their youngest son's birthday celebrations on video when their home is suddenly invaded by a bunch of crystal-meth-crazed neo-nazi lunatics… "

More About the Film and Director:
"Fans have eagerly awaited release details on HATE CRIME, although there are still none yet we do have some posters for the film!

Attached are 5 official posters for the critically acclaimed AWARD WINNING found footage home invasion film HATE CRIME. This is the second feature film by 20 year old James Cullen Bressack, his first being the Amazon horror best seller MY PURE JOY which was released last year. Despite its name, Hate Crime is a labor of love from a dedicated group of people looking to make something different. Hate Crime is a violent, realistic portrayal of one of our worst nightmares, being attacked in our home. The movie has been extremely well received by over 80+ reviewers, including some of the biggest reviewers in the horror film community.

This film has fought a lot of controversy due to it's extreme content, almost being banned in the UK, being pulled off the screens at festivals before even showing, due to content and theatre management not willing to show the movie the festival booked, and has faced some trouble finding distribution since the shooting in CT.

We actually lost a distribution deal that was on the table due to that horrible tragedy. As Sinfullcelluloid.com put it: "...the film has won several awards and has a strong following. It has over 80 great reviews and no distribution. They even had an offer hold off the table the last minute." for the full article about HATE CRIME's shocking distribution woes please visit: SinfulCellulloid.com"

I'm personally not a huge fan of the found footage genre, and truthfully, I haven't seen many home invasion flicks, so this isn't something I'd actively seek out. Perhaps the trailer will change my mind?


The trailer mainly consists of ballyhoo... it doesn't offer up a solid reason for me to want to see the film. If anything, it is pretty much saying "WE DARE YOU TO SIT THROUGH THE FULL 73 MINUTES OF THIS MOVIE!" I've glanced around, and many of the reviews are positive (even the people who didn't like this movie have good things to say), so even though it doesn't seem like my cup of tea, if the opportunity presented itself, I'd give HATE CRIME a shot.

Finally, here are the posters that were just released for the film...

For more info about HATE CRIME visit the film's IMDB page, and be sure to like its Facebook page as well!

VOICES FROM THE GRAVE teaser trailer released!

I was nearly done emptying out my inbox of all the press releases, movie news, and other assorted fun stuff I get (e.g. offers for penile enhancement, breast enhancement, prescription drugs, porn, etc.), when I came across a press release concerning a new indie Horror anthology that is nearing completion, called VOICES FROM THE GRAVE.

Here's a quick synopsis:

"From master horror writer Gary Brandner, author of 'The Howling', and filmmakers Richard Stoudt and Laurence Holloway comes a relentlessly harrowing film experience. A trio of horrors that will make your flesh creep and your heart palpitate.

Deadly spirits, vengeful and maliciously spiteful give fuel to these tales of supernatural terrors. 'Invitation', based on a short story by Gary Brandner, tells the tale of loser Len Krager, who attends a party he'll never forget!

A vengeful spirit exacts revenge in the tale 'All Hallows' Eve'! An exercise in suspense and atmosphere. Robert Mundy doesn't celebrate Halloween since the accidental death of his brother on Halloween night. But this Halloween night, vengeance will rise and seek retribution.

Ghostly road hazards endanger a used car owner in the turbo-charged yarn 'Repossessed', a spine tingling 'vehicle' for absolute fright. Jeff purchases a killer car for a killer deal... unfortunately, the car really is a killer! A true exercise in style and terror, 'Voices from The Grave' will thrill and chill even the most jaded horror fan!"

It will thrill and chill even the most jaded horror fan?! That's some pretty big talk; I hope they can actually back that claim up! Let's take a gander at the newly released teaser trailer and see what "Voices from the Grave" has to offer.


Well, that was more of a highlight reel than a trailer, but I liked a lot of what I saw. Some of the effects work and camera angles/shots were pretty impressive! I'd definitely like to check this movie out, however at the moment, the film is still in production. It seems that principal photography and even the editing are pretty much done; all that's left is to finish work on the audio (foley and ADR) and put a soundtrack together!

I'll keep you all posted about a future DVD release date for "Voices." Until then you can visit the film's IMDB page for more info on the cast and crew, OR you can get further updates on the production by liking the Voices from the Grave Facebook Page!

This Spring, beware of THE SCREAM MACHINE!

I recently received a press release from filmmaker Walter Ruether about his new Horror anthology, entitled "Scream Machine." Taking a cue from last year's surprise hit "V/H/S," Ruether's "Scream Machine" features five tales of terror that exist on various video tapes that are popped into a cursed VCR!

Here's the synopsis of the film:

FIVE OF THE DEADLIEST TALES EVER TOLD ON AN OLD HAUNTED VCR CALLED SCREAM MACHINE. (**OFFICIAL SELECTION PHOENIX COMIC CON 2012!**)

A battered and mysterious VCR... A bevy of lethal videotapes... These are the building blocks of horror in "SCREAM MACHINE." A mind blowing descent into madness and death. Five shocking vignettes, designed to take your sanity and devour your soul! Mild curiosity leads to severe consequences when a couple rents a supposedly cursed video cassette recorder. An urban legend renowned for leaving a trail of agonizing and torturous death. Unbelieving, they take the plunge... And another legend is horrifyingly born.

Do you dare give fate a winning hand, and test yourself against the hellish consequences of the SCREAM MACHINE?

Insert Cassette Press Play...DIE!

USA PREMIERE MAY 2013 PHOENIX COMIC CON-USA DVD RELEASE WITH WORLDWIDE MULTI MEDIA... SPRING 2013!

For additional information on the cast and director, visit the Scream Machine IMDB page. To keep up to date on the movie and its eventual Spring release, be sure to like the Scream Machine Facebook page.

What's that? Your curiosity is still not sated and you want to see some pics and a trailer? Well ask and you shall receive:


For a production that only cost around ten grand, that's some pretty impressive makeup f/x and gore. But you know, I kind of wish that this movie had some more eye candy. Like, oh say.... a smoking hot redhead dressed in a nurse's outfit or something....

Yeah! That's exactly what I was talking about!

Hooray! It's as if Walter Ruether's read my mind and put this gal into the movie just for me. I can't wait to see how she figures into things! I'm sure things will totally go her way; what's the worst that can happen to an attractive woman in a nurse's outfit in a Horror film?

NOOOO! My hopes and dreams have been crushed!

Help indie film maker complete "CURSE OF THE PHANTOM SHADOW." Watch "KIDS GO TO THE WOODS... KIDS GET DEAD" free for a limited time!

I always do what I can for independent film makers who are either trying to promote their films, or find funding to complete their project. And speaking of which, I received an e-mail today from a one Mark Ross, who is currently working on a retro tribute to pulp heroes and classic serials called CURSE OF THE PHANTOM SHADOW. He has paid for most of the movie out of his own pocket, but he needs just a little more help to complete it. Mark is trying to raise $5,000 to finish his film and needs your help to get there.

Head on over to his Kickstarter page and pledge a dollar or more towards CURSE OF THE PHANTOM SHADOW. You'll need a credit card and you WON'T be charged unless he hits his goal. I know the economy is tough (believe me I know) but will donating a buck really put a dent in your bank account? Also, if you donate more ($25, $50, $100, etc.) you will get listed in the film's credits and get all sorts of cool goodies. I've said all I can, so let Mark and company try to convince you with some footage from their project:




I think it looks pretty damned cool and will gladly pledge some money towards it. And.... there. I pledged $25.00! Good luck Mark; hope you guys pull enough funds together!

Speaking of indie films, the folks behind KIDS GO TO THE WOODS... KIDS GET DEAD are showing their film for free over at their official website (for a limited time). CLICK HERE to watch this shot-on-digital-video Horror flick. If you like what you see, you can buy the DVD (with a bunch of extra features) for $8.99, or download it to keep for $3.99. CLICK HERE to purchase the film and support independent cinema!

Stay tuned for some actual new content at the Vault, and get ready because Halloween is now less than two weeks away! Blog ya later b-movie fans!

Underbelly's FIVE WORST MOVIE MONSTERS + AWESOME DVD & BLU-RAY DEALS!

Halloween will be here in just over two weeks (YAY!) and its time to get in the spooky holiday spirit. Submitted for your approval, here is Underbelly's first Horror-themed video for the month, featuring five of the worst movie monsters to ever grace the silver screen. Check it out!

It warms my heart to see them back in action after the Flood of 2011. Welcome back Underbelly crew!

Next up, here are some awesome deals on Horror flicks from Amazon.com and the awesome folks over at Shout! Factory. Right now on Amazon, you can pick up the "Omen Blu-ray Collection" for a whopping.... $19.99! Four movies, lots of extras, and perfect picture and audio for only twenty bucks! You can't beat that! CLICK HERE to order yourself a copy. C'mon, Halloween's around the corner... TREAT yourself!

Next up, Shout! Factory is selling off bundled DVD and Blu-ray packs of their Roger Corman Cult Classics and Elvira Movie Macabre lines. They have four main deals going right now, the latter of which is super-expensive but damn well worth it. Here are the offers with prices; click on the links for more info!

1. Elvira's Movie Macabre Double Features Bundle - 6 Double Feature DVDs, 12 movies = $42.00 + s/h
2. Elvira's Movie Macabre Singles Bundle - 6 DVDs = $35.99 + s/h
3. Roger Corman Blu-ray Bundle - 4 Discs = $59.99 + s/h
4. Roger Corman Mega DVD Bundle - 20 Films, 13 discs = $149.99 + s/h

YOU WANT THIS! DON'T DENY IT! CLICK THE IMAGE TO ORDER!

You can never have too much Corman!

Well that's all for today! New stuff is coming to the Vault and its satellite blogs soon! Stay tuned! 19 more days until Hall-O-ween! SIL-VER, SHAM-ROCK!

HALLOWEEN HORROR-THON AT THE VAULT!

Greetings and welcome to the month of Horror (and Breast Cancer Awareness)! This is the busiest time of year at the Vault and I aim to please this month with the First Annual B-Movie Film Vault HALLOWEEN HORROR-THON! My goal for this project was to watch and review (at least) one horror film a day, right up until October 31st. I've admittedly failed my quest already (not my fault!) but I still plan on packing in 31 mini-reviews until Halloween rolls around. CLICK HERE to check out the first few posts thus far and be sure to keep an eye on that page on a daily basis!

Also, be sure to check out the Vault's popular GENRE WATCH BLOG every week for the latest updates on cult DVD, Blu-ray, and theatrical releases!

And, because I forgot to post about it here before, check out my latest article at the Vault: (SIX) INDIE FILMS YOU SHOULD BE STOKED FOR: VOLUME I!

That's all the new stuff I've got for you at the moment fellow horror fans! Keep checking back at the Vault for new stuff (nearly) every day and start counting down the days to Halloween! (Only 25 days left! Woohoo!)

New print of "The Evil Dead" possesses Dryden Theatre in Rochester, NY!

Greetings cult movie fans! My apologies for not frequenting this blog (or my site)! Truthfully I was thinking of putting the kibosh on this here blog because I just don't know what to do with it. But until I figure that out, it shall remain online as part as the ever-growing, and ever-evolving B-Movie Film Vault.

But nevermind that, the important thing right now is "The Evil Dead," Sam Raimi's cult horror classic from 1981. We've all seen this movie numerous times, and many of us have been duped into buying it over and over again by those bastards at Anchor Bay (case in point, the "Limited Edition" Blu-ray is coming out on Tuesday, August 31st), each one boasting something new that the prior release didn't have.

I myself ended up buying "The Evil Dead" three times (VHS, DVD Special Edition, Book of the Dead Edition), which is pretty good considering I bought "Evil Dead II" five times (two VHS tapes, DVD special edition, Book of the Dead edition, and the Blu-ray release) and "Army of Darkness" five times (VHS theatrical cut, DVD theatrical cut, bootleg edition on VHS, then later on DVD, and finally the "Boomstick Edition). Stop raping (me and) the fans Anchor Bay!

In any case, Saturday night I drove up to Rochester, NY (three hour trip mind you) with my girlfriend Tara, and my buddy Greg to see an all new print of "The Evil Dead," made from the original 16MM print. This particular print of the film was lent to the Dryden Theatre (at the George Eastman House in Rochester) by Sage Stallone and Bob Murawski from Grindhouse Releasing.

Joining us for this milestone event was the triple threat of Kristy Jett (of Fright Rags fame), her best friend Laurie, and Bill Adock from Radiation-Scarred Reviews. We combined our forces and feasted at a place called dogTown where I discovered the horror that is the "The Junkyard Plate." (a.k.a. "The Garbage Plate" which is made up of various foods that I would never dare to mix together.)

After filling our bellies with deliciously greasy food, we went to the theater to see, what is in my opinion, the most beautiful print of "The Evil Dead" in existence. (I kind of want to get the Anchor Bay Blu-ray, just to compare the picture quality.)

To kick things off, Kristy got up and did an introduction for the night's feature presentation, and geeked out a bit about Sam Raimi, telling the audience about how he eventually teamed up with Rob Tappert, Bruce Campbell, Scott Spiegel, and everyone else who brought this cult gem into existence. She also shared a few fun anecdotes about Sam Raimi that she heard from folks like Fred "Monster Squad" Dekker and Mark Shostrom.

I got a kick out of Mark Shostrom's tale of his meeting with Sam Raimi to do the makeup f/x for "Evil Dead II." He was so embarrassed by his crappy car, that he parked it a few blocks away, and walked to the meeting, only to later discover that Sam himself drove an equally crappy vehicle. (a.k.a. "The Classic")

After Kristy finished her little speech, the lights dimmed, and a series of cult movie trailers were played to get us all in the right mood. My memory is a bit sketchy, but I think this is the full list of trailers we saw: "Maniac," "Alligator," "Phobia," "The X Y Z Murders," "Venom," "On the Right Track," (with Gary Coleman!) and "Dressed To Kill." Bill and I cheered for "Alligator," and the audience as a whole cracked up during the trailer for [in a whispering voice] "Phobia." (a.k.a. "The Nesting")

Here are some of the aforementioned trailers that I managed to find on Youtube:

And then "The Evil Dead" played.... and all was right in the world. For the next 85-minutes, we all gawked at the most beautiful print of "Evil Dead" I think any of us has ever seen. The crowd in the theater was totally in tune, and we all screamed, shouted, and laughed in unison at the demonic antics of the film's beleaguered stars. It is truly experiences like this that makes three-hour drives to a movie screening totally worthwhile!

As for the film itself, I will say that the image was a bit soft, but compared to all the VHS and DVD versions I've seen, nothing comes close. The picture was clear, the movie was in its original aspect ratio, the audio was fantastic, and I think I have finally fallen in love with this cult classic. (To date, "Evil Dead II" was, and still is, my favorite in the trilogy.) Plus, I can tally up seeing yet another classic horror film on the big screen!

After the movie, we bid our fond farewells to Kristy and company, then departed for our (tortuous) three-hour trek back into Northeastern, PA. And while we're on that topic, many thanks to Garmin for making a GPS that likes to mess with its users. The damned contraption decided that the best course to take on our return home was through a toll road, then down Route 96, through Ithaca, NY. Thanks for making our return trip longer than it had to be! (A-holes!)

Saturday was a blast, and I still can't over how good "The Evil Dead" looked! If it's playing in a city near you, I urge you to go out of your way and see this print of the film; you will most assuredly thank me.

You can get the entire schedule of "Evil Dead" movie screenings by clicking HERE and going to the official Grindhouse Releasing webpage! Cross your fingers that it is playing at an independent theater near you!

As for actual website news: Stay tuned for a double-dose of Monster-Mania Con XV coverage with a (lengthy) article chronicling my adventures, plus a podcast (chock full of John Carpenter scores in the background)! After that, I'll return to my original mission of reviewing Gary Ugarek's "Deadlands: Rising" and "Deadlands 2: Trapped," and finally post Holly Hobgoblin's guest review of "Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror."

After that? Well, if I make it to Monster-Mania XVI, you can expect coverage of that event; the return of some ancient reviews from the olde Vault archives, perhaps another podcast, and my two contributions to a remake-themed roundtable at the end of September!

Finally, I know I haven't been posting much on the blog (or site for that matter), but I'm working towards changing that. If you don't see much action around the Vault, feel free to bug me over at The B-Movie Film Vault Facebook Page. (Now with over 260 "likers" and counting!) At the very least, I check out said Facebook page twice a day and post various links, videos, and b-movie news that should be right up your alley. JOIN US.... won't you?

New Capsule Review: Closed for the Season (2009)

For those of you that frequent the site (and blog), you may recall that I have just recently attended Monster Mania Con XIV and saw the world premiere of Jay Woelful's "Closed for the Season." I didn't go into too much detail about the film on my MM XIV blog posts, (with so much going on, I didn't really have the time) so I decided to take it upon myself to review the rough cut of the movie. "Closed for the Season" is a very surreal horror film and constantly messes with the expectations (and minds) of those who watch it. Keep an eye out for this cinematic oddity as it will be hitting DVD later this year.

Stay tuned for more review action as I attempt to put a dent in this stack of review screeners that has been building up on my desk!

First ever Guest Review at the Vault: Teeth (2007)

The B-Movie Film Vault proudly brings you the first every guest review the site has ever had! Guest writer "Holly Hobgoblin" tackled the dark and twisted horror-comedy, TEETH. This film follows the hardships of Dawn, a girl trying to maintain her virginity in this sex-crazed world we live in. Things take a turn for the super weird when poor Dawn discovers that she has razor-sharp teeth lurking in her lady-parts, but eventually she learns to live with that curious mutation and even use it to her advantage. (i.e. Her vaginal fangs destroy anything that goes into her "hoo hoo dilly" without consent.)

A review for Krull is forthcoming as is a new Genre Watch article and more fun stuff! Stay tuned b-movie fans!

New Capsule Review: The Wild Man of the Navidad (2008)!

A mysterious creature terrorizes a rural Texan community in The Wild Man of the Navidad . This bastard child of The Legend of Boggy Creek and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is based on the (supposedly) true events as chronicled by a man named Dale S. Rogers, and was not nearly as entertaining as I had been led to believe by fellow online reviewers.



More new content is on the way including more reviews, a new podcast, and (hopefully) a holiday-themed top-ten list, so check back soon b-movie fans!

New capsule review for Gris Grimly's "Cannibal Flesh Riot!" (2007)

I make my triumphant return to reviewing films with a fresh (and rather lengthy) capsule review for Gris Grimly's "Cannibal Flesh Riot!" This half-hour short film revolves around two grave-robbing ghouls who end up biting off more than they can chew when their latest "dinner plans" go awry. Check out the trailer for "CFR!" below:



I hate to even promise this but... expect a lot more updates at the Vault and SOON. A large group of us b-movie webmasters are holding a roundtable next weekend with a focus on movies based on video games. Since I'm a glutton for punishment (and since anything else I would have picked was already taken), I decided to review the horrible big screen adaption of the classic "Double Dragon" video game, which stars Robert Patrick, Mark Dacascos, Scott Wolf, and Alyssa Milano.

After that's out of the way, I have a trio of screeners that I plan on reviewing, and after they are taken care of, the sky is the limit! I'm hoping to get a good number of reviews posted this month, whilst keeping the BMFV Genre Watch updated weekly, and I even hope to get a new podcast recorded and uploaded for your listening pleasure.

So stay tuned for lots of new stuff b-movie fans! Blog ya later!

The "Godmonster of Indian Flats" gets hogtied at the Vault!

Three months ago, readers and visitors alike chose "Godmonster of Indian Flats" in the second Torture the Vault Master poll. For those of you who picked this cinematic atrocity I hereby curse you! While it wasn't the worst thing I've ever witnessed, it was pretty damn bad and I definitely suffered through it. But was it bad enough? Hell no! I can take worse abuse, and you'll get your chance to dish out more in the third "Torture the Vault Master Poll." (Which may become a quarterly tradition if it gains in popularity.)

Here is the trailer for this awful cinematic atrocity:

Expect my old (and updated) review for "Army of Darkness" to pop up on the site tomorrow night, along with a new edition of the BMFV's weekly Genre Watch!

And just so you know: "My Name is Bruce" and "Chocolate" hit DVD and Blu-ray tomorrow! Woohoo!

UPDATE: "Army of Darkness" and this week's Genre Watch have been delayed by my intense urge to watch a Friday the 13th movie. Expect that stuff to pop up on the site very soon!

Forum gets an upgrade + Arcade (1993) returns to the ye olde Vault archives!

Well after a few false starts and numerous failed attempts, I finally managed to figure out how to upgrade the software for my forum. Though I lost a few cool mods that I had installed (the reputation system chief amongst them), I am quite happy with how things went. (Luckily I backed up the forum files before going full steam ahead with the update.) Please, feel free to swing by the BMFV forum (which is chock full of movie and DVD news) and give it a look-see.

Also, be sure to check out my refurbished (old) review for the 1993 Albert Pyun / Full Moon classic, Arcade. This is a pretty bad flick (though not nearly the worst I've ever seen) that features a sentient virtual reality game that steals the souls from anyone who sucks at video games.

Here's the trailer for this straight-to-video schlocker:


I was hoping to finally review "Godmonster of Indian Flats" before the month was over, but alas, it was not meant to be. Have no fear though, because that awful giant mutant sheep epic will become part of the Vault archives in the very near future; probably even as soon as Monday night. I'll keep you posted on my progress with that review and will announce its arrival at the Vault as soon as I get it uploaded.

Well that's it for tonight. I'm friggin' tired and I need to get up relatively early to go to the bank, so g'night everyone!

Kicking off 2009 with a Harry Warden double feature!

Well here it is b-movie fans, the first (and definitely not last) update of 2009! For your reading enjoyment, I present you with two items: First, there's the updated review for the classic 1981 slasher film, My Bloody Valentine, complete with screencaps and a fresh review for the new Lions Gate DVD release. (Which by the way is UNCUT!) The second item of interest is a brand new capsule review for My Bloody Valentine 3D, which was a whole helluva lot of fun to see on the big screen. There's tons of gore and mayhem, full frontal female nudity, and the 3D effects were fantastic! Pickaxes, fiery explosions, eyeballs, and more pop out at you, bringing you closer to the action on the screen!

I've got more stuff on the way including this week's Genre Watch post (I've decided that posting a weekly list of upcoming cult DVDs and theatrical releases is far more easier than compiling four weeks of info and putting into one single article), a long overdue capsule review for "The Ghouligans! Super Show," plus I still have to hammer out the rest of the "Wanted on DVD" page.

So enjoy those two reviews slasher fans and be sure to check back at the Vault soon for more new updates! Blog ya later!

New capsule review for "Twilight" (2008) is up at the Vault!

Yeah yeah, I saw this freakin' movie, so sue me. My girlfriend dragged me to the theater (quite literally) and I had very low expectations. That is probably why I didn't completely hate (or love) "Twilight." The film has a few glaring problems (as does the source material which claims that vampires are not destroyed by sunlight, but merely become glittery fairies when hit with direct UV rays), but overall it's watchable and not too awful. I'd say it's pretty much for teenage girls and fans of the books (who are primarily, GASP!, teenage girls). Check out my review HERE.

I have a lot more stuff in the works for the site and I plan on jamming this month with a lot of updates. I'm hoping to complete three more reviews, my December Genre Watch article, and an all new section for the Vault. Keep an eye out for all of that over the next few weeks.

Oh and there's less than three weeks left to get your Christmas shopping done, so get to it b-movie fans!

Evil Dead II.... Mentos Commercial

I didn't post anything Halloween-oriented yesterday, so here's the consolation prize: A short Mentos commercial parody made with footage from "Evil Dead II!"



I started cleaning up the house for my eminent (post) Halloween party and my god.... I lived in this filth for the last few weeks? My DVD collection had an inch of dust on it and that is inexcusable! In any case, I should have this place whipped into shape in another day or two, then I've gotta get some junk food and beverages for my guests on Sunday. This task will be a little hard to accomplish as I have Guitar Hero World Tour and the new MST3K boxed set arriving via UPS tomorrow, but I shall persevere and be 100% ready to watch some horror flicks and chow down on some copious amounts of chips, candy, pizza, wings, and whatever else I can get my hands on.

There's only a few more days left until Halloween, so you best be ready b-movie fans! Blog ya later!

The Vault Master shall "Fear No Evil!"

Well I've survived round one of "Torture the Vault Master" and have posted a rather lengthy review (with screencaps!) for FEAR NO EVIL. This movie turned out to be a cakewalk and wasn't nearly as bad as I had previously recalled. However, that doesn't mean that it is a good film by any stretch. There's plenty of homosexual undertones in this bad boy, but they are easy to ignore because there is so much weirdness going on in this movie.

We get one bloody baptism, one death by dodgeball scene, a dude who magically grows breasts, an effeminate transvestite Antichrist, a small horde of zombies, heavenly animated death rays, and an awesome 80's soundtrack! So head on over and read my review and stay tuned for more updates at the Vault!

Oh and just in case you weren't paying attention.... 11 more days until Halloween! WOOHOO!

New Capsule Review: Eric Falardeau's "COMING HOME"

With the posting of this review I have managed to kill two birds with one stone: I have finally added a new review to the site and I've finally reviewed my screener copy of Eric Falardeau's "Coming Home." I first experienced Eric's unique brand of film making two years ago, when I was still writing for Rogue Cinema. Years later, his skill has naturally improved, and I find myself quite impressed with his latest short film, "Coming Home," which is essentially a mystery/revenge flick with a fairly gory outcome. Be sure to read my review for this extremely well-made indie short by clicking HERE. For more info about Eric and all of his films, visit the Out Of Nowhere Productions Myspace Page.

I have this Monday off and plan on spending a good chunk of it in front of the computer, so don't be too shocked if you see more new stuff on the site early next week. Blog ya later b-movie fans!