My thoughts on the recent Missouri movie theater shenanigans.

Before I even get into this, let me tell you how I feel towards the news media here in America: I hate it! I tend to avoid the evening news, and only scan through the morning paper in hopes for something interesting in the Entertainment section, or find some piece of thought-provoking social/political commentary, or even a good old-fashioned human interest story. But typically I avoid the news because it is all sensationalist, fear-mongering, bullsh*t!

Yes, bad things happen daily in this world, but you know what? A lot of good stuff is happening too. Great stuff in fact, that the media isn't even covering! And all those car wrecks, rapes, murders, abductions, and gun-related crimes that are tossed into our face every night on TV? Yeah, that stuff happened (and are happening as we speak), but they are happening LESS FREQUENTLY. Gun violence is down (despite a huge surge in gun and ammo purchases), rape is down, murders have gone down... but do we hear about it? Nope!

We live in a perpetual state of fear in America and its leading to so much idiocy. Grade school kids face expulsion if they try to play cops and robbers (paper guns are not allowed!), if teens get into a fistfight in school the cops roll in and hand out tickets (what happened to the principal and parents dealing with this stuff?), and our day to day privacy is infringed upon by various (government and private) organizations under the guise of protecting the American people. (TSA likes to see through your clothes to fight terrorism!) Seriously, this all has to stop! Take a deep breath America, clear your head, and start using your collective brains!

With all that said, let's talk about this.....

After "The Dark Knight Rises" shooting in Aurora, Colorado last July, people were admittedly shaken. Theaters were one of the last "safe havens" in the world. People pay a(n outrageous) fee to escape into a fantasy world for two hours to get away from the daily grind. What's even cooler is that everyone in the theater shares the experience, so when a movie does things right, everyone laughs, cheers, cries, or has some sort of emotional response at the same moment. It's truly a thing of beauty. The moment the Aurora shooting happened, I was beyond irate, because a movie theater is the equivalent of a church in my eyes; it's holy ground!

Which leads me to the "breaking news" about Bob Wilkins, a movie theater manager in Jefferson City, Missouri, who decided to spice up the screening of IRON MAN 3. He had cosplayers (seen in the photo above) come in as Iron Man, Nick Fury, and (poorly dressed) S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and scientists, some of them armed with plastic guns. Even in the picture you can see that they are toys. However, in a slight miscalculation, I guess the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents invaded a theater and spooked the patrons.

Naturally the police were called, and now the media is having a field day with poor Bob. Did he make a mistake? Well, yes and no. Personally I think he should have had the cosplayers out front in the lobby to meet, greet, and take photos with the moviegoers, or have fake Nick Fury and Iron Man lead the way before the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents burst in. Hell, they could've even went the "E.T." route and given all the agents walkie-talkies instead of toy guns.

Regardless, Bob Wilkins is being made out to be an idiotic villain, and I personally wonder "Will he lose his job for this?" (As opposed to the mob mentality that "He should lose his job over this!") I can kind of see why people may have panicked, but really folks, if someone was going to shoot up a theater, they'd probably just burst in the door and open fire, not put on some sort of show beforehand. It's like Tommy Lee Jones said in MEN IN BLACK: " A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it."

Personally, I applaud Bob's (honorable but failed) attempt to liven things up, because going to the theater anymore kind of sucks (unless there's an Alamo Drafthouse nearby). I remember when going to the movies was an event, especially when Summer blockbuster season came around. Now visits to the movie theater have lost their luster, for various reasons best explored in a future rant. Showmanship needs to make a comeback; theaters (particularly the large chains) need to start making trips to the movies fun again!

So good on you Bob for trying to get people to see the (lackluster) IRON MAN 3. I'm sorry things didn't quite work out, and sincerely hope you don't lose your job over this. Theaters need more managers like you who want to go above and beyond to create a memorable experience, but in the future, think things through a bit, lest you suffer another media backlash.

To the media and internet blogosphere... shame on your for vilifying this man! Some people are still trying to move on from the Aurora tragedy, and here you are dragging its tattered remains back into the limelight. So the theater manager tried to do something fun and harmless, and a few people lost their sh*t. That's no reason to drag his name through the mud and remind everyone of a tragic event. Shut your damned mouths and start reporting some real news!

To the customers who called the cops.... I can't get mad at you for that, especially if you had kids with you. You saw what you thought was a genuine threat and you reacted to it. Enjoy the multitude of free movie passes and snack coupons you most likely received as recompense.

To the former soldier who's PTSD was supposedly triggered by this failed stunt: WHY THE F*CK WERE YOU SEEING A MOVIE FILLED WITH EXPLOSIONS AND A MAIN CHARACTER THAT SUFFERS FROM PTSD?! (***MINOR SPOILER ALRERT!***) If some kids in fake SWAT costumes set off your PTSD, then what would the movie have done?! I'm calling bullsh*t on this guy!